365 Days, Day 248

“Well,” said Pooh, what I like best…” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it, which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called (A.E. Milne)

What are the three words you never want to hear while making love?

“Honey, I’m home!” [hahaha – this made me laugh out loud]

We bought more honey today. It is very good in rooibos tea (with lemon). It is very good for sore throats and for making hot toddies.

I looked up a bit of history about honey:

It was the first sweetener used by man

Supposedly Cupid dipped his love arrows in honey before aiming them at unsuspecting lovers

Mead was an alcoholic drink made using honey and was called the “nectar of the gods”

Honey has been used as a form of currency in the past

Famous ancient physicians used honey as medicine – as an ointment for sores and wounds. Its high sugar content creates an ideal waterless environment that makes bacteria infecting a wound unable to survive

Today has been a day of thinking and being inspired. A quiet day. A cold day. A sore throat day. A day for honey. Tomorrow I plan to be more creative with the ideas that are swirling around in my head.

But for now, I am going to have a hot toddy (sans the whiskey or brandy – so basically just boiling water, lemon and honey!) and have a snuggle-evening.

365 Days, Day 247

There is no such thing as an empty space or and empty time. There is always something to see, something to hear (John Cage)

The meaning of life is to see (Frederick Franck)

Did two days cover teaching this week and I really worked for my money. As a teacher one hears the students talking even when they assume that you are not listening. Sometimes you get to hear things that you would rather not. They always seem surprise when you make a comment that indicates you have heard every word. Most don’t even seem embarrassed. Thank goodness I don’t have to see what they get up to…

I am grateful for my gift of sight. I am a very visual person. I have found two delicious art sights on the internet in the past few days that are visually very inspirational to me. I feel ready to make art again (thank you Alicia, for replying to my mail across the ocean and connecting with me. I do feel a resonance with your work and energy).

I am off to Chris tomorrow, will take the train to London and then out to Hitchin, for a few days, so I won’t blog this weekend – will have a catch-up next week!

365 Days, Day 246

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

I love having my house (almost) full again: having Ariél, Kyle and Sarah here is wonderful. I hope that they see our home as a little port where they can anchor anytime they need to. I am longing for Roarke and Gina to be here too.

My fortune cookie wisdom for today says: “You are free to invent your life”*. I have had to, and am still re-inventing myself. No longer can I identify who I am through my children – I am no longer MOM. I have housed their bodies, now their souls are out there in the house of tomorrow. They have been sent forth as living arrows on their own path.

I just enjoy the moments when the little arrows find their way back to us, even for a while.

Stay as long as you like little arrows; stay as long as you need. But go forth when you are ready: we will always be here for when you may need or want to return. I love you my little children.

*How would I [re-]invent my life…? I will have to give this some thought… am a bit too tired to think now - did a day of teaching (= a day of smiling and being friendly and positive and encouraging in the faces of adversity). I can walk away from my day knowing I gave it my best and did all I could to create a positive learning space for the little darlings.

Am rambling a bit now, but have just seen two themes for art project: Notorious and Letters and Symbols. I like this, feel inspired. Tomorrow (if I don’t have a teaching day, I will start on this in my journal…) Feel inspired.

365 Days, Day 245

If...

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!I

I have always enjoyed this poem, it still speaks to me.

If, at my age, I can still have heads turning to give me a second look plus a wolf whistle, then I am doing alright… Made my day, it did!

365 Days, Day 244

I am a book of snow,

a spacious hand,

an open meadow,

a circle that waits,

I belong to the earth and its winter

(Pablo Neruda)

We will surely get to our destination if we join hands (Aung San Suu Kyi)

To receive everything, one must open one’s hands and give (Taisen Deshimaru)

My hands have dug into mud and clay, they have stroked many dogs and cats, and they have plunged into porridgy pots and cleaned out dusty, sooty spaces. When I make art, I love using my hands – I get down and dirty with the paints using my fingers to spread and blend the oil colours ( I do use brushes too); I love working with media with very tactile qualities. My eyes often see texture and have to touch. Last week in London, when I was sitting in a coffee shop, I saw a rather effeminate man at a table opposite me, wearing a very ostentatious fur coat. As I got up to leave I went over and asked him if he minded if I touched his coat. He didn’t mind, so I did. Very disappointing – it was not as lush as it looked: it was cheap faux fur.

Before I give a Reiki session, I put my hands together in gasho prayer position (gasho means: two hands coming together), with thumbs touching your heart chakra. I like this. It brings one’s focus inwards. We used to start and end yoga with Adele, like this too.

I have become even more aware of my own hands since my Reiki attunements; the sensation, as my awareness and intuition grows, is remarkable. I am humbled and grateful that I have wonderful creating, healing hands.

I have applied for quite a few costume maker jobs: wouldn’t it be fun to work with hands, creating and making!

I put my hands together in gasho and quietly send Reiki love and light to all of you.

365 Days, Day 243

Learn to be patient and to wait for the right timing for everything. Know that things will work out perfectly... Much is waiting to unfold at the right time… the unfolding process will take place – there is a harmony and rhythm in place. Nothing is out of step, so work with it and not against it. If you work against it you will simply exhaust yourself and get nowhere, like swimming against the tide. Avoid working against something which is inevitable but instead learn to go along with it in absolute peace and confidence that you are doing the right thing at the right time (Aileen Caddy, Opening Doors Within)

It was blustery and cold out today, but Tom and I took Lily for a walk in the forest. As we crossed over the railway bridge, we saw a huge branch of a tree blocking the whole of the little fenced off walkway. We had to do a hidey-hole creepy-crawley walk to get through it: what fun! Lily had to be carried.

As we walked along, I heard the trees talking to me. They said that I should not worry about wanting things to happen right now, that I should look to them for the answers…? What? I looked at the tall trucks being billowed about. A few had been uprooted by the wind. But most of the trees were still standing. I was reminded of the workshop Nicki and I did at Findhorn year before last (was it that long ago!?) called Resilience in Turbulent times. The way to cope in times of trouble or difficulty is not to become resistant, but rather to move with the rhythm of the waves. Don’t fight, just move. Sway gently. Bend your knees and sway back and forth.

Thoughts of: If I don’t get out there and take the bull by the horns, then nothing will get done, or, I have to take charge and confront the situation to make things happen, start to appear in our heads. I am learning the lesson of being patient. Putting things in place for action to happen. But learning that there is a rhythm and if I don’t get frustrated, a harmony in the timing. I don’t understand the timing and find that frustration does get the better of me at times. I applied for yet more jobs this weekend – when am I going to find a wonderful/boring/any job?

Don’t fight, just move. Sway gently. Bend your knees and sway back and forth.

365 Days, Day 242

Never give up

No matter what is going on

Never give up

Develop the heart

Too much energy … is spent

Developing the mind instead of the heart:

Develop the heart,

Be compassionate

Not just to your friends but to everyone,

Be compassionate

Work for peace in your heart and in the world

Work for peace, and I say again

Never give up

No matter what is happening

No matter what is going on around you

Never give up

(Dalai Lama)

In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralised and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective (Dalai Lama)

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness (Dalai Lama)

I spend a great deal of time preparing for my blog entry each day, reading quotes and looking for inspiration. Sometimes it becomes clear fairly quickly what to write about and other times even after I have written, erased, started again, rewritten, abandoned, restarted and finally posted, I am still not happy with the blog.

Today I have been hearing whisperings and felt I needed to look at the words of the Dalai Lama. Kindness and compassion are sentiments that run like a golden thread through his quotes.

I was talking to Tom today about how spirituality is about letting go. Letting go of preconceived thought patterns; letting go of the intellect reasoning; letting go of wanting to control everything; letting go of being cynical…

Whisper-whisper, you need to go and be compassionate to your elders, whisper-whisper. If timing and money were no objects, I would like to go and spend time with my mom and dad and give BOTH of them a lot of Reiki (even if you don’t ‘believe’ in it – it will be very good for you. I can send you distance healing sessions, while you are sleeping…)

I am taking lessons from Lily (not the madness-hamster ones where she runs like a whirling dervish around the garden or inside amongst the furniture, and not the ones where she licks and then devours dodgy-looking objects from the garden, and not the ones where she lies on her side and howls because her golf ball has rolled under a cabinet and she can’t reach it and so rips up the carpet) but the ones, where she loves the present moment and it is her absolute favourite thing in the world. And where she loves each of us unconditionally and makes us feel that we are her special-favourite person in the whole world (at that moment). And when she needs to, she lies down and naps… her religion is happiness.

No complications and complex reasoning: just the belief that everything is going to be alright.